For those of you who think I'm a total meanie, I just wanted to let everyone know that my stupent who was MIA for five weeks is off the hook. I let her slide and told her I'd give her an incomplete and let her re-take the course (without paying) and change her grade in the spring.
Merry Christmas!
(See? I do have a heart!)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
12/05: Crazy Family
I will digress from academia to speak about my family who are, apparently, as crazy as my instructors and students. Christmas is coming and I struggled to buy all presents pre-Thanksgiving so that I could enjoy the holidays. Both grandparents are trying to snag all of my gifts for my kids and have depleted my inventory. Next, my own sibling called me to complain that she cut open a package with a gift for my son and ruined it. When I laughed and said, "Wow, glad that's YOUR problem!" she replied with "It IS YOUR problem...it's a gift for your kid!"
What the friggity-frig is up with that???? She's as bas my stupents who don't take responsibility for crapola when the chips are down and they realize that they aren't earning a passing a grade!
What the friggity-frig is up with that???? She's as bas my stupents who don't take responsibility for crapola when the chips are down and they realize that they aren't earning a passing a grade!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
11/29/06: My Instupendents
My instupendents refers to the fact that the faculty that I hire are retarded. One of them went so far as to tell as student IN WRITING that "they should have earned an F and were lucky to get the C that I gave you." What the hell are they thinking? As an admin, I can tell you that my first thought is..."If the student earned a F, why did you give them a C, fool?" Isn't this the problem with all of academia? Instructors give students the grades that they DON'T deserver which makes the students think that their minimum is the requirement for the A? We are our own worst enemies...and the students who think that they are winning by "earning" these grades...they are the ultimate losers.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
09/04/06: Jalapeno'd!
The bad news is that I made it to Rate My Professor. The good news is that I got jalapeno'd! My ratings stink for the most part (except for the jalapeno person and someone else who thought I rocked). The ironic thing is that I can almost pick out the students who trashed me. One claimed that I didn't return any of my emails (yes, darling, because you were emailing the WRONG ADDRESS!) and another that I sucked because she should have earned an A- but I gave her a B+ (yes, dear one, because you didn't PARTICIPATE in the online class!).
*sigh*
Does anyone take those ratings seriously?
*sigh*
Does anyone take those ratings seriously?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
09/01: "I'm so confused..."
Email from Stupent:
I am having some difficulty with this week's journal entry. The question does not coincide with the chapters to me. So therefore i answered the question the best way I knew how but I do not have two pages. I am confused because each entry should be two pages and single spaced, according to the syllabus. Please contact me when you can. I have been short on a couple of the other journal entries. I do not want this to affect my grade.
Reply from Instructor:
Hi Student,
You wrote "I am confused because each entry should be two pages and single spaced, according to the syllabus." But you don't tell me what is confusing about that. It seems fairly clear to me. Let me know what is actually confusing you about that and I will be happy to clarify.
Signed,
Professor
I am having some difficulty with this week's journal entry. The question does not coincide with the chapters to me. So therefore i answered the question the best way I knew how but I do not have two pages. I am confused because each entry should be two pages and single spaced, according to the syllabus. Please contact me when you can. I have been short on a couple of the other journal entries. I do not want this to affect my grade.
Reply from Instructor:
Hi Student,
You wrote "I am confused because each entry should be two pages and single spaced, according to the syllabus." But you don't tell me what is confusing about that. It seems fairly clear to me. Let me know what is actually confusing you about that and I will be happy to clarify.
Signed,
Professor
Sunday, August 20, 2006
08/19: Evaluations
I know that I haven't written in a while. With summer and kids, it has been hard. But I just received my spring 2006 evaluations and I'm so disgusted that I had to write.
Two classes. One loved me. The other hated me (and the class). On the surface, who cares what they think of me. Frankly, the class that hated me was the energy vampire class that just sucked the life out of me and made my life miserable for 14 weeks. Here were comments:
"This classes was so stupid. It felt like we were back in 3rd grade!" OK, granted...professional communication is not typically a favorite class but, to be truthful, they all needed it because they used poor grammar, couldn't write a ransom note if they had to (forget about a business memo), and had crummy attitudes.
"Instructor brought children to class two times. Very unprofessional for an professional communication class." This one ticked me off. How short-sighted. I suppose it would have been more professional to cancel the class? What message does that send from a professional communication perspective? I bet they wouldn't have complained over that one.
Do they think I enjoyed dragging the 8 year old to campus with me (who, btw, was very well behaved and quiet)? Do they think he enjoyed it? As for the second incident, it was the last class with presentations. Yes, it sucked dragging a 4 year old (who was basically good...for a 4 year old) but it was either cancel the class with no opportunity for a make-up session and that wouldn't be fair to the final presenters who went the week before since this group would have gotten off without doing the presentation. Nor was it fair to cancel class and all of their hard work (ha ha) was for naught.
I read the evaluations and cursed them with the hopes that they have sickly children and get canned from a job for having to take sick days then think back on this evaluation that they wrote...criticizing me for caring enough to torture my own children in order to follow through on my professional commitment. But that just shows how narrow-minded these spoiled little kids (not even adults) are!
Two classes. One loved me. The other hated me (and the class). On the surface, who cares what they think of me. Frankly, the class that hated me was the energy vampire class that just sucked the life out of me and made my life miserable for 14 weeks. Here were comments:
"This classes was so stupid. It felt like we were back in 3rd grade!" OK, granted...professional communication is not typically a favorite class but, to be truthful, they all needed it because they used poor grammar, couldn't write a ransom note if they had to (forget about a business memo), and had crummy attitudes.
"Instructor brought children to class two times. Very unprofessional for an professional communication class." This one ticked me off. How short-sighted. I suppose it would have been more professional to cancel the class? What message does that send from a professional communication perspective? I bet they wouldn't have complained over that one.
Do they think I enjoyed dragging the 8 year old to campus with me (who, btw, was very well behaved and quiet)? Do they think he enjoyed it? As for the second incident, it was the last class with presentations. Yes, it sucked dragging a 4 year old (who was basically good...for a 4 year old) but it was either cancel the class with no opportunity for a make-up session and that wouldn't be fair to the final presenters who went the week before since this group would have gotten off without doing the presentation. Nor was it fair to cancel class and all of their hard work (ha ha) was for naught.
I read the evaluations and cursed them with the hopes that they have sickly children and get canned from a job for having to take sick days then think back on this evaluation that they wrote...criticizing me for caring enough to torture my own children in order to follow through on my professional commitment. But that just shows how narrow-minded these spoiled little kids (not even adults) are!
I really hated teaching at that school. I bailed out on my contract to teach there this year. It was refreshing when I had to inform the department chair...the same woman who politely "reprimmanded" me for giving my stupents too much work because the stupents were complaining that I was hard (!! isn' that the point of college...? it if was easy, the degree would be worth nothing...oh wait, isn't that's what happening now with undergraduate degrees anyway?)
For the record, my new contract at a different school has been fabulous, rewarding, and completely different. The students are dedicated...ironically, mostly from Canada...and take it seriously. Of course, there are the few stupents tossed in there but, for the most part, I'm back where I belong and enjoying teaching again.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
04/23: Classic Denial
You'll love this email I received from a student this week:
Professor,
I have tried unsuccessfully several times to contact you regarding the online class. I have not been able to pull it up on Blackboard and I have tried to get help but they are telling me that I am not enrolled. But then I went to go see the Blackboard tech person and she said that I am enrolled, so I am really frustrated and confused and I have not been able to see any of the assignments and I could not get a phone number for you and I stopped by your old office but they said that you no longer have one on campus. if you could get back to me that would be great. I graduate in May and I need this class and I am extremely worried. I would be willing to do anything to pass this class I am not sure what happened to my blackboard account. Thank you, L. H.
Here was my response to her:
Hi L,
It has been quite a while since I heard from you and, unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you. How were you trying to contact me? This is the first email that I have received from you in months. My cellphone didn't ring, either (which was posted online in the classroom from day one). If you contacted your study buddy, that person never contacted me. However, that was the very first assignment in the course and you didn't complete that (at least not as far as I am aware...the other students posted their study-buddy online as I requested but I don't see any postings from you on this assignment).
I could have easily resolved your concerns if you had contacted me. During Spring break, I removed you from the online course. You had not participated or logged into the class in months. You did not submit even one assignments and I had no contact from you. In fact, the last record of your presence in Blackboard was on February 1st. If you had, indeed, been trying to get into the classroom or accessing it, what did the help desk tell you? Certainly they would have seen that you were not even listed? If you had emailed or contacted me, I would have put you back into the course.
I don't know what to tell you about graduation. But, clearly an online class requires an online presence. I made that very clear in the beginning of the course. Since I last heard from you on or about February 1st and it is now mid-April, I feel no obligation to give you an incomplete or pass you for the course. I know that isn't the answer you want to hear, but you will need to discuss this with your advisor. I'm cc'ing the department chair on this email as I had contacted her via email on 2/15 that you had logged into the class but not participated or submitted assignments. I advised the chair at that time that you were not going to pass the class since you were not participating or submitting work on time and she was notifying your advisor. Perhaps the chair will other advice for you. Best of luck and I'm sorry that you waited until mid-April to contact me.
Professor
Professor,
I have tried unsuccessfully several times to contact you regarding the online class. I have not been able to pull it up on Blackboard and I have tried to get help but they are telling me that I am not enrolled. But then I went to go see the Blackboard tech person and she said that I am enrolled, so I am really frustrated and confused and I have not been able to see any of the assignments and I could not get a phone number for you and I stopped by your old office but they said that you no longer have one on campus. if you could get back to me that would be great. I graduate in May and I need this class and I am extremely worried. I would be willing to do anything to pass this class I am not sure what happened to my blackboard account. Thank you, L. H.
Here was my response to her:
Hi L,
It has been quite a while since I heard from you and, unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you. How were you trying to contact me? This is the first email that I have received from you in months. My cellphone didn't ring, either (which was posted online in the classroom from day one). If you contacted your study buddy, that person never contacted me. However, that was the very first assignment in the course and you didn't complete that (at least not as far as I am aware...the other students posted their study-buddy online as I requested but I don't see any postings from you on this assignment).
I could have easily resolved your concerns if you had contacted me. During Spring break, I removed you from the online course. You had not participated or logged into the class in months. You did not submit even one assignments and I had no contact from you. In fact, the last record of your presence in Blackboard was on February 1st. If you had, indeed, been trying to get into the classroom or accessing it, what did the help desk tell you? Certainly they would have seen that you were not even listed? If you had emailed or contacted me, I would have put you back into the course.
I don't know what to tell you about graduation. But, clearly an online class requires an online presence. I made that very clear in the beginning of the course. Since I last heard from you on or about February 1st and it is now mid-April, I feel no obligation to give you an incomplete or pass you for the course. I know that isn't the answer you want to hear, but you will need to discuss this with your advisor. I'm cc'ing the department chair on this email as I had contacted her via email on 2/15 that you had logged into the class but not participated or submitted assignments. I advised the chair at that time that you were not going to pass the class since you were not participating or submitting work on time and she was notifying your advisor. Perhaps the chair will other advice for you. Best of luck and I'm sorry that you waited until mid-April to contact me.
Professor
Thursday, April 13, 2006
04/13: One month?
I cannot believe I haven't written for an entire month! Things have calmed down and there is a light at the end of the horizon. Only three weeks left and, in the meantime, my one online course ended. Yippee! I'm almost done AND...drum roll...I'm taking next semester off. Well, off from face-to-face teaching. The school thinks differently and put me on the schedule even though they never asked me to teach! That's a good sign but I did have to tell them that I wasn't going to do it.
My online class had an interesting character in it. She wanted an A. That was the bottom line. Not that she wanted to EARN an A, she just wanted it. She spent hours on the phone with her advisor about why she deserved an A. She ended up earning an A- and she was furious. She was also mad at me because I didn't respond to her in a timely fashion during the week I was at the funeral for my father-in-law (even though I told them that I wouldn't be responding, I was going to a funeral, and we had a SECOND instructor that she didn't contact!).
I love my stupents...
BTW, I had an amazing student in this class. She was a dream student who went the extra mile and really put in 150%. She earned an A and raised the benchmark for the rest of the class. It was an amazing experience to finally have a really, really good student again. Ahhhhh...the joy of teaching when the students want to work for their grades, not just get them handed to them.
My online class had an interesting character in it. She wanted an A. That was the bottom line. Not that she wanted to EARN an A, she just wanted it. She spent hours on the phone with her advisor about why she deserved an A. She ended up earning an A- and she was furious. She was also mad at me because I didn't respond to her in a timely fashion during the week I was at the funeral for my father-in-law (even though I told them that I wouldn't be responding, I was going to a funeral, and we had a SECOND instructor that she didn't contact!).
I love my stupents...
BTW, I had an amazing student in this class. She was a dream student who went the extra mile and really put in 150%. She earned an A and raised the benchmark for the rest of the class. It was an amazing experience to finally have a really, really good student again. Ahhhhh...the joy of teaching when the students want to work for their grades, not just get them handed to them.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
03/15: Ideas of March
Yes, March is always my month of ideas and I used the Ides of March to re-evaluate my resolutions and see what I can do to make life easier. With spring on the horizon, this is the perfect time to reflect and make changes.
I surveyed my Prof Comm class and half of them hate it. Not necessarily me (I hope) but the book is too simple and the material to basic. So, while they are on spring break, I reassessed and decided that I'm going to let THEM run the class (under my watch, of course). They are working on their simulation and I'm having them do weekly presentations which they must apply to real world situations. I told them that the more creative they are, the higher the grade. Let's see how that flies.
I'm not sure with to do with my Advertising class.
Market Research was easy. There are only five surviving students and it's online so I have them going out and doing research. I gave them steps along the way and they simply post their experiences. Simple. That reminds me that I have to post their midterm today.
The problem class is this stupid Leadership class I'm teaching. The students are AWESOME but I'm co-teaching it with this person who has never taught before. Let's use the name Bob. Bob is panicking and constantly emailing me. When I walk into the office, he bombards me with questions even though I teach outside of work, not during work time. Bob doesn't post responses to the students' postings but is always online. I have no idea what the hell Bob is doing! However, on Tuesday when I walked into the office, Bob actually reprimmanded me in front of peers because I didn't respond to his email on Friday (which was actually Saturday afternoon and, sorry, I didn't do work this weekend). I was really pissed.
Here I am, doing 80% or more of the work, putting up with a teaching neophyte and...here's the beauty...I'M PAYING THE COLLEGE TO DO IT! That's right. Bob's getting $2K and I'm PAYING $800 b/c I need this course to complete my MBA. We had worked out a deal where I would co-teach it for the grade (I wrote the darn course, for crying out loud).
I'm just biting my tongue and biding my time. Since I manage the schedule of who teaches what, guess who ain't teaching any more online courses? That would be Bob...
BTW, back to the Ideas of March...I've been finding killer content to include in my online courses. Some of these publishers have some really awesome material. It's exciting to think how advanced these courses can be. Now, if we could only fight grade inflation to motivate students to try harder...
I surveyed my Prof Comm class and half of them hate it. Not necessarily me (I hope) but the book is too simple and the material to basic. So, while they are on spring break, I reassessed and decided that I'm going to let THEM run the class (under my watch, of course). They are working on their simulation and I'm having them do weekly presentations which they must apply to real world situations. I told them that the more creative they are, the higher the grade. Let's see how that flies.
I'm not sure with to do with my Advertising class.
Market Research was easy. There are only five surviving students and it's online so I have them going out and doing research. I gave them steps along the way and they simply post their experiences. Simple. That reminds me that I have to post their midterm today.
The problem class is this stupid Leadership class I'm teaching. The students are AWESOME but I'm co-teaching it with this person who has never taught before. Let's use the name Bob. Bob is panicking and constantly emailing me. When I walk into the office, he bombards me with questions even though I teach outside of work, not during work time. Bob doesn't post responses to the students' postings but is always online. I have no idea what the hell Bob is doing! However, on Tuesday when I walked into the office, Bob actually reprimmanded me in front of peers because I didn't respond to his email on Friday (which was actually Saturday afternoon and, sorry, I didn't do work this weekend). I was really pissed.
Here I am, doing 80% or more of the work, putting up with a teaching neophyte and...here's the beauty...I'M PAYING THE COLLEGE TO DO IT! That's right. Bob's getting $2K and I'm PAYING $800 b/c I need this course to complete my MBA. We had worked out a deal where I would co-teach it for the grade (I wrote the darn course, for crying out loud).
I'm just biting my tongue and biding my time. Since I manage the schedule of who teaches what, guess who ain't teaching any more online courses? That would be Bob...
BTW, back to the Ideas of March...I've been finding killer content to include in my online courses. Some of these publishers have some really awesome material. It's exciting to think how advanced these courses can be. Now, if we could only fight grade inflation to motivate students to try harder...
Saturday, February 25, 2006
02/25: Jerky Intellects
So, it's after the funeral and I'm chatting with some of my husband's cousins. One is a really nice guy who got his PhD and now teaches out west somewhere in a tenure-track position. It's a big deal for him. The other is this beady-eyed only child moron intellect who could not communicate his way out of a paper bag unless it had the instructions based upon the Rosetta Stone code scribbled on the inside. I never really liked this guy because I suspect he's a fraud. A big fat fraud that isn't as smart as he thinks he is.
The nice cousin and I were talking about classes and teaching. Really nice guy. The other one...well, he just talks to hear himself and forget what YOU have to say.
As they are leaving, my husband makes a comment to nice guy, "Great see you, buddy or should we say, Professor?"
I proudldy chimed in "He has a PhD! It should be Doctor!"
Social moron guy mumbles, "Well, actually, in academia, a professor is more impressive than a doctorate."
I looked at this guy as if he had three heads. What the hell is he talking about? I'm a f'ing professor and I don't have my doctorate. I once got lashed out at by the Vice President b/c someone teasingly called me Dr. Blahblahblah (and I had nothing to do with it).
What pisses me off is that the moron cousin obviously is so stupid that he doesn't even realize that he's stupid. But he also thinks that I'M stupid just because I exist. He doesn't even bother to find out what I do or don't know.
Later on, we all sat around the table b.s.ing and my two sister-in-laws were commenting how smart this guy is and how he's on a different plain. My husband (bless him!) made a few comments back that he's not really that smart just because he specializes in one niche and he doesn't know how to communicate with people unless it's about that niche. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE! I really wanted to slap those people who allowed this jerky "intellect" into bullying them into feeling stupid. I was proud of my husband for actually saying that to my one sister-in-law. Of course, he was half drunk and when I tried to talk to him later about it, he passed out so I didn't get to have an in-depth discussion.
Why do people who think they are so smart get off by trying to make other people feel stupid? That bothers me. I consider myself fairly intelligent (hell, I graduated college when I was 20 and had my masters by 22!). But I don't glory in dumb-ifying other people. In fact, I'm intrigued more by with other people have to say than what I think I know. Maybe I'm onto something. Maybe I'm smarter because I don't want to talk but to listen. It's the talkers who only care about spreading their own knowledge without acquiring more since they think they know everything. In fact, I get mad when my husband pushes me into debates on topics that I know a lot about (such as religion or politics in Middle East...personal knowledge pursuits of mine). My mother does this, too, when I'm with her best friend's husband drinks too much and starts spewing off ridiculous Scripture. I'll play a little bit if he's being really obnoxious because I'm fairly well-versed on both Old and New Testament. But I actually try to keep that a secret. No one else cares. They have their own opinions, and about topics like religion and politics, they usually don't want to hear mine.
Long rant...sorry. But that guy ticked me off. Give the PhD the credit and accoldates. That's hard work. And to pretend that being called "professor" is better than being called "doctor"? COME ON! That was a ridiculously stupid thing for this supposedly 'genius' to say.
[Of course, I now risk exposing my own ignorance when twenty people comment that I'm wrong but, if so, I will apologize to Chip the Dip Cousin. ]
The nice cousin and I were talking about classes and teaching. Really nice guy. The other one...well, he just talks to hear himself and forget what YOU have to say.
As they are leaving, my husband makes a comment to nice guy, "Great see you, buddy or should we say, Professor?"
I proudldy chimed in "He has a PhD! It should be Doctor!"
Social moron guy mumbles, "Well, actually, in academia, a professor is more impressive than a doctorate."
I looked at this guy as if he had three heads. What the hell is he talking about? I'm a f'ing professor and I don't have my doctorate. I once got lashed out at by the Vice President b/c someone teasingly called me Dr. Blahblahblah (and I had nothing to do with it).
What pisses me off is that the moron cousin obviously is so stupid that he doesn't even realize that he's stupid. But he also thinks that I'M stupid just because I exist. He doesn't even bother to find out what I do or don't know.
Later on, we all sat around the table b.s.ing and my two sister-in-laws were commenting how smart this guy is and how he's on a different plain. My husband (bless him!) made a few comments back that he's not really that smart just because he specializes in one niche and he doesn't know how to communicate with people unless it's about that niche. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE! I really wanted to slap those people who allowed this jerky "intellect" into bullying them into feeling stupid. I was proud of my husband for actually saying that to my one sister-in-law. Of course, he was half drunk and when I tried to talk to him later about it, he passed out so I didn't get to have an in-depth discussion.
Why do people who think they are so smart get off by trying to make other people feel stupid? That bothers me. I consider myself fairly intelligent (hell, I graduated college when I was 20 and had my masters by 22!). But I don't glory in dumb-ifying other people. In fact, I'm intrigued more by with other people have to say than what I think I know. Maybe I'm onto something. Maybe I'm smarter because I don't want to talk but to listen. It's the talkers who only care about spreading their own knowledge without acquiring more since they think they know everything. In fact, I get mad when my husband pushes me into debates on topics that I know a lot about (such as religion or politics in Middle East...personal knowledge pursuits of mine). My mother does this, too, when I'm with her best friend's husband drinks too much and starts spewing off ridiculous Scripture. I'll play a little bit if he's being really obnoxious because I'm fairly well-versed on both Old and New Testament. But I actually try to keep that a secret. No one else cares. They have their own opinions, and about topics like religion and politics, they usually don't want to hear mine.
Long rant...sorry. But that guy ticked me off. Give the PhD the credit and accoldates. That's hard work. And to pretend that being called "professor" is better than being called "doctor"? COME ON! That was a ridiculously stupid thing for this supposedly 'genius' to say.
[Of course, I now risk exposing my own ignorance when twenty people comment that I'm wrong but, if so, I will apologize to Chip the Dip Cousin. ]
Friday, February 24, 2006
02/24: Funerals and Classes
So my father-in-law passed away last week and we are currently attending the funeral. It's amazing because two weeks prior to that, my best friend's mother decided to kill herself in a very dramatically choreographed "event" in New York City (no further details out of respect to my friend). I have become the student that I hate...the one who has a gazillion people die during the semester. Oh yes, and toss in a blizzard. So I basically have missed a month of teaching. I am the "blow off" instructor this semester.
I did return to the classroom last week and it was surreal. There is one student in my first class who reminds me of my childhood "Nellie Olson". This chick could be her twin. I hated this girl. I remember getting into a kicking match in 4th grade on the playground. I delighted when she was sent home for being too "dirty" to attend class (which is weird b/c her parents were rather prominent). She disappeared for a while and returned a few years later only to steal my boyfriend in high school. He was a druggie loser but hey, at the time, he was cool. Now I have her twin sitting in my class staring at me with big brown eyes. And she has become my "academic role reversal" nemesis. She actually is helping me because I'm so distracted with death and trauma and heart-sick friends and family. It sucks. I feel like such a loser. I forgot to post assignments on Blackboard. I wrote the wrong dates for something else. This chick is reminding me and guiding me through the process. It makes me feel like crap.
But the good news is that my shitty online market research class has finally taken a turn for the better. We're down to five solid students and I have a rhythm going. I feel much better about it. Lets see how Monday goes when my kooky buddy steps up to the plate to run my classes for me.
I did return to the classroom last week and it was surreal. There is one student in my first class who reminds me of my childhood "Nellie Olson". This chick could be her twin. I hated this girl. I remember getting into a kicking match in 4th grade on the playground. I delighted when she was sent home for being too "dirty" to attend class (which is weird b/c her parents were rather prominent). She disappeared for a while and returned a few years later only to steal my boyfriend in high school. He was a druggie loser but hey, at the time, he was cool. Now I have her twin sitting in my class staring at me with big brown eyes. And she has become my "academic role reversal" nemesis. She actually is helping me because I'm so distracted with death and trauma and heart-sick friends and family. It sucks. I feel like such a loser. I forgot to post assignments on Blackboard. I wrote the wrong dates for something else. This chick is reminding me and guiding me through the process. It makes me feel like crap.
But the good news is that my shitty online market research class has finally taken a turn for the better. We're down to five solid students and I have a rhythm going. I feel much better about it. Lets see how Monday goes when my kooky buddy steps up to the plate to run my classes for me.
Monday, February 13, 2006
02/13: ARGH...my kids!
They are driving me nuts! We're snowed in and, while I normally wouldn't mind, I've had a rough few weeks. My best friend's mother committed suicide last week, my husband has been traveling like a lunatic, and the latest tragedy is his father being rushed to the ER and it's not looking good. Add 20+ inches of snow and being trapped with two rammy kids and I become rather cranky.
Now, I recognize that this seems to be a theme in my life/blog but I'm really a nice person. Usually nice, anyway. Just not during January/February/March. I hate the cold, hate the kids being stuck indoors, hate the constant noise of computer games or the telvision and I despretely miss my gardens.
I've given up the battle with my kids over the Game Cube, computer games, and television. I'm going to chalk these months up as complete lost causes with little to no contribution to spatial brain development for the three year old and similar intelligent design over the 7 year old. I'm a loser mother right now and I just have to suck it up because my work load and lack of physical presence by their dad is hindering me from being Ma Ingalls to these kids right now. I suppose they'll turn out OK...
Of course, we're trapped today and my husband is battling the airports to get to his dad and I have the munchkins plus I seem to be acquiring more throughout the day. I just wrote this long post for the blog and the doorbell ringt where I lose one munchkin but gained another. As I answer the door and turn back to the computer, my son is gleefully sitting there with his buddy. WHAT???!!! They erased my entire posting AND the new kid is hungry b/c his mom didn't feed him lunch. ARGGGH! I just shut the damn kitchen and cleaned up. I'm not a short order cook.
All I want to do is get caught up on grading papers and class prep and paint the family room. Is that too much to ask? I cannot even get to the paint store to buy the paint.
Now, I recognize that this seems to be a theme in my life/blog but I'm really a nice person. Usually nice, anyway. Just not during January/February/March. I hate the cold, hate the kids being stuck indoors, hate the constant noise of computer games or the telvision and I despretely miss my gardens.
I've given up the battle with my kids over the Game Cube, computer games, and television. I'm going to chalk these months up as complete lost causes with little to no contribution to spatial brain development for the three year old and similar intelligent design over the 7 year old. I'm a loser mother right now and I just have to suck it up because my work load and lack of physical presence by their dad is hindering me from being Ma Ingalls to these kids right now. I suppose they'll turn out OK...
Of course, we're trapped today and my husband is battling the airports to get to his dad and I have the munchkins plus I seem to be acquiring more throughout the day. I just wrote this long post for the blog and the doorbell ringt where I lose one munchkin but gained another. As I answer the door and turn back to the computer, my son is gleefully sitting there with his buddy. WHAT???!!! They erased my entire posting AND the new kid is hungry b/c his mom didn't feed him lunch. ARGGGH! I just shut the damn kitchen and cleaned up. I'm not a short order cook.
All I want to do is get caught up on grading papers and class prep and paint the family room. Is that too much to ask? I cannot even get to the paint store to buy the paint.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
02/08: Corrupt Faculty Member
I'm really ticked off today. I just found out that one of the "pet" faculty members at my school has been sending bills to the college for tutoring his own students. This really angers me and I cannot believe that the dean is not terminating this guy. Can you imagine? That's your JOB to teach these students...you don't get paid extra because you are doing such a crappy job in the classroom that the students need a tutor! If I don't explain something properly or if my student needs help, I help that student. I spend the time to help the student understand the concepts or assignments. Can you imagine charging the school $20/hour for this? It's not like he received permission or referred the students to the tutoring center. He just did it on his own.
What a crock of crap! It makes me so angry because I go above and beyond the call of duty for my students (at least those that make an attempt). I keep hearing about budgets and money then I hear this???? I'm really angry...
What a crock of crap! It makes me so angry because I go above and beyond the call of duty for my students (at least those that make an attempt). I keep hearing about budgets and money then I hear this???? I'm really angry...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
02/02: Going Crazy Already
I'm overwhelmed already! One of my classes is going EXCEPTIONAL, one is so-so, and one stinks. It's my fault this time around and I take the blame. I have too much going on. I never should have accepted the third course (stinky one) but the instructor was deployed to Iraq. I felt it was my patriotic duty to step up to the plate and cover for him. Now I'm going bananas trying to get caught up and organized. Of course, two children under the age of 8 make that impossible. HELP!!!!
Friday, January 27, 2006
01/27: One Week Down...
OK, first week down and so far, so good. My two face-to-face classes are going GREAT. The Advertising/Promotions class increased 25% after day one and the Prof. Comm. class is over capacity (which stinks but...) however, the students responded well to my "rules":
- Get a study buddy and ask that person before asking me (i.e. missed notes, "confusion" over assignments, etc.)
- Participate in class discussions if you want an A
- No late assignments
- Etc. and more of the same
One chick was cracking up during my "welcome" speech and I stopped, "Uh...are you horrified or just happy?" She laughed and said, "I'm so excited...this is the way classes are supposed to be!" A good omen, I suppose. She was still there on Thursday so I guess she meant it.
It is exhausting, though. I should work out beforehand. The jumping around, the energy, the enthusiasm in a good lecture. No wonder so many instructors resort to the old lecture blah-blah. It's hard to be entertaining and educational.
My online course is another story. There is always ONE class a semester that sucks and this one takes the goose egg. Either I scared the heck out of these students and they all dropped (save two) or they are the one class that I seem to get every semester that is full of lazy "stupents" who haven't logged in...even though I have emailed and posted a dozen times that they need to log, read, post, etc. What the heck do I do if I'm down to two students? That's impossible in the online environment! It's basically an independent study which make the next 15 weeks drag on...
The other sucky thing is that my Ad/Promo class is too similar to other courses these students have done. It's going to be hard to differentiate since the other classes have used my cool project: develop an entire advertising and promotional campaign for a product (including samples of commercials, radio, promotional partnerships, etc.). Well, Principles of Marketing, Principles of Advertising, and (get this one) Small Group Communication used the same friggin' project. OK, I get Principles of Advertising but Small Group Communication? Come on! Project thief! And Principles of Marketing...that's rather aggressive for a introductory course. Now I'm sending this group off to interview advertising agencies and (hopefully) meet with the advertising department of a local NYC radio station. However, this is more work for me because I have to re-write my course to bring it up a notch. If someone steals THIS from me, I'll just throw my hands up in defeat...!
Monday, January 23, 2006
01/23: When To Cave...
When do you cave into a student? This is a question that I debate with one of my colleagues on a regular basis. I've read other comments about caving in on other blogs. OK, I'll admit that there are times to cave in and I've done it. I loved Kait's comment "He cried, I caved, I don't want to talk about it." I laughed my tooshie off when I read that because I've been there. We do it and, afterwards, we don't want to talk about it. Why?
Well, for starters, we know that these students work hard and have other responsibilities. I had one student last semester who was one of the best undergrads that I ever had. This chick was dynamite! Her writing was professional and polished. If I asked for a two page summary, she gave me six! And it was good stuff.
Toward the end of the semester, she had two car accidents within two weeks and never handed in her final assignment. I couldn't fail her, even though I have a "No Late Assignment" policy. So, I gave her the world-famous Incomplete--which is a pain because I have to track down a gazillion signatures from people working in different buildings (and always on the highest floor with no elevator). But she was worth it.
I had another student who missed a ton of classes, didn't hand in some work, and the work she did hand in was mediocre. She actually was from a different school and just taking the class to make up credits. I talked to her about the Incomplete because I didn't want to fail her. However, when it came time to submit grades...I caved and gave her the C. I knew she had a bad semester (someone died) and she did hand in some of the extra work that I requested. The point is...she tried and she talked to me as it was happening.
OK, so I cave in sometimes, too.
But there are situations where I don't cave. I had this student who showed up at the end of the semester and I actually looked at her and said, "Who are you?" This chick hadn't attended class in well over 6 weeks (maybe longer), had been thrown out of her learning team, and was crying about her grandfather dying as the excuse. Look, I was close to my grandmother (I mean CLOSE...I drove 3 hours every week to sit with her until the day before she died!) and I only took off three days to mourn.
Now, I'm not saying this student should get over it but to blame a six week absence on it? I could understand a sibling or a parent but granddad? Well, even so...let's say that this student was really, really close with PopPop...that doesn't mean she should automatically pass the class. It does her no favors to cave in...she didn't learn the material. Sometimes you have to separate their life from their studies. Not to mention, I didn't hear about PopPop's death until AFTER she was going to fail (which she did). That's what drives me crazy. Tell me before, work with me in advance. But to suddenly tell me what happened afterward? I bet she wouldn't have said anything if I had given her a B...it was only after she knew she was going to fail.
I don't cave when the student didn't follow my instructions or when the student tries to thwart taking responsibility for their inaction. Work with me, I work with you. Try to pawn it off on me, forget it--that doesn't work in my book. Teaching is more than just the academics. It's about preparing these students for their post-collegiate life. Responsibility is a very important piece of that. When a student is responsible, I'll go to the moon for them. When a student refuses responsibilty, well...I'll fight that grade grievance until the end of the universe.
Well, for starters, we know that these students work hard and have other responsibilities. I had one student last semester who was one of the best undergrads that I ever had. This chick was dynamite! Her writing was professional and polished. If I asked for a two page summary, she gave me six! And it was good stuff.
Toward the end of the semester, she had two car accidents within two weeks and never handed in her final assignment. I couldn't fail her, even though I have a "No Late Assignment" policy. So, I gave her the world-famous Incomplete--which is a pain because I have to track down a gazillion signatures from people working in different buildings (and always on the highest floor with no elevator). But she was worth it.
I had another student who missed a ton of classes, didn't hand in some work, and the work she did hand in was mediocre. She actually was from a different school and just taking the class to make up credits. I talked to her about the Incomplete because I didn't want to fail her. However, when it came time to submit grades...I caved and gave her the C. I knew she had a bad semester (someone died) and she did hand in some of the extra work that I requested. The point is...she tried and she talked to me as it was happening.
OK, so I cave in sometimes, too.
But there are situations where I don't cave. I had this student who showed up at the end of the semester and I actually looked at her and said, "Who are you?" This chick hadn't attended class in well over 6 weeks (maybe longer), had been thrown out of her learning team, and was crying about her grandfather dying as the excuse. Look, I was close to my grandmother (I mean CLOSE...I drove 3 hours every week to sit with her until the day before she died!) and I only took off three days to mourn.
Now, I'm not saying this student should get over it but to blame a six week absence on it? I could understand a sibling or a parent but granddad? Well, even so...let's say that this student was really, really close with PopPop...that doesn't mean she should automatically pass the class. It does her no favors to cave in...she didn't learn the material. Sometimes you have to separate their life from their studies. Not to mention, I didn't hear about PopPop's death until AFTER she was going to fail (which she did). That's what drives me crazy. Tell me before, work with me in advance. But to suddenly tell me what happened afterward? I bet she wouldn't have said anything if I had given her a B...it was only after she knew she was going to fail.
I don't cave when the student didn't follow my instructions or when the student tries to thwart taking responsibility for their inaction. Work with me, I work with you. Try to pawn it off on me, forget it--that doesn't work in my book. Teaching is more than just the academics. It's about preparing these students for their post-collegiate life. Responsibility is a very important piece of that. When a student is responsible, I'll go to the moon for them. When a student refuses responsibilty, well...I'll fight that grade grievance until the end of the universe.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
01/22: Hating my Stupents, Loving my Students...
Kait and Joanna made some comments on Adjunct Kait's website that I wanted to talk about (but didn't want to burden her site with it...that wouldn't be fair to her or her readers).
I have been teaching for about eight years. I love teaching and, for the most part, I love my students. But you are correct that I'm burning out a bit. I'm burning out from the students who wear me down. Believe it or not, I was nominated on more than one occasion as a best instructor and won an "Instructor Who Impacted Me the Most" award from a graduating student.
Even though I grumble about moving to the dark side (lectures and exams), I never could...not entirely. Frankly, that's boring to me. I like teaching students by allowing them to do. My assignments are creative and usually mirror corporate America. I take them out of hte classroom and into the world, a first experience for many of them. Each semester, I have at least a dozen students comment that I was the best instructor they ever had. I like to do unusual things with my students so that they can apply theory, not just regurgitate it back to me. What fun is that?
When I vent, you are reading about the frustration resulting from some very nasty students who have worn me down in the past few months. Trust me, there is nothing better than having bright eyed and bushy-tailed students who work hard and give you their best. My courses lock up every semester and have a wait list while other sections are wide open. I tell you this only so that you know my frustration is vented here...not in the classroom. In my Wintersession, I have 6 students who are fantastic. They worked hard, they posted and participated, they loved the class and I already have other students emailing me (based on their feedback) asking when I'm teaching again.
Of course, I have three students who skimped during Wintersession, gave me crap, didn't participate, didn't work to their potential and I know...KNOW...that they will scream, yell, and cry about the Cs or even Ds that they earned. It will be MY fault, not theirs. That's what makes me tired...the lack of accountability in those students.
Kait wrote that she wants to learn from the veterans. I consider myself one. Yes, I'm venting. Yes, I'm angry. But, I invite you to catch me on my good days and you'll see what a good, caring instructor I am to my students (albeit not the lazy ones). Once I ran a class with a group of undergrads at an all girls school that had the students create their own business and run it. These girls were minorities from low-income backgrounds and had never known a professional (female) role model. They did things that they never thought possible. I footed the bill out of pocket for the entire business venture, including incorporating it. It was an amazing experience...for them and for me. I still get emails from them telling me how much that one course impacted their lives.
Please don't judge me by my angry posts. I'm getting it out of my system. Between the stupent who should've failed my summer course who is still fighting the C- that I gave her as a favor (and hiring a lawyer, mind you...like I need that aggravation!) and the graduate student who flipped out on me last week (and later apologized), I had a bad week.
I have been teaching for about eight years. I love teaching and, for the most part, I love my students. But you are correct that I'm burning out a bit. I'm burning out from the students who wear me down. Believe it or not, I was nominated on more than one occasion as a best instructor and won an "Instructor Who Impacted Me the Most" award from a graduating student.
Even though I grumble about moving to the dark side (lectures and exams), I never could...not entirely. Frankly, that's boring to me. I like teaching students by allowing them to do. My assignments are creative and usually mirror corporate America. I take them out of hte classroom and into the world, a first experience for many of them. Each semester, I have at least a dozen students comment that I was the best instructor they ever had. I like to do unusual things with my students so that they can apply theory, not just regurgitate it back to me. What fun is that?
When I vent, you are reading about the frustration resulting from some very nasty students who have worn me down in the past few months. Trust me, there is nothing better than having bright eyed and bushy-tailed students who work hard and give you their best. My courses lock up every semester and have a wait list while other sections are wide open. I tell you this only so that you know my frustration is vented here...not in the classroom. In my Wintersession, I have 6 students who are fantastic. They worked hard, they posted and participated, they loved the class and I already have other students emailing me (based on their feedback) asking when I'm teaching again.
Of course, I have three students who skimped during Wintersession, gave me crap, didn't participate, didn't work to their potential and I know...KNOW...that they will scream, yell, and cry about the Cs or even Ds that they earned. It will be MY fault, not theirs. That's what makes me tired...the lack of accountability in those students.
Kait wrote that she wants to learn from the veterans. I consider myself one. Yes, I'm venting. Yes, I'm angry. But, I invite you to catch me on my good days and you'll see what a good, caring instructor I am to my students (albeit not the lazy ones). Once I ran a class with a group of undergrads at an all girls school that had the students create their own business and run it. These girls were minorities from low-income backgrounds and had never known a professional (female) role model. They did things that they never thought possible. I footed the bill out of pocket for the entire business venture, including incorporating it. It was an amazing experience...for them and for me. I still get emails from them telling me how much that one course impacted their lives.
Please don't judge me by my angry posts. I'm getting it out of my system. Between the stupent who should've failed my summer course who is still fighting the C- that I gave her as a favor (and hiring a lawyer, mind you...like I need that aggravation!) and the graduate student who flipped out on me last week (and later apologized), I had a bad week.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
01/21: Wintersession Ends Today!
Whoopee! I'm finished with my stupents today! Of course nothing is easy. I'm sitting here hashing out grades over my morning coffee (kids plopped in front of TV and husband fending for himself to forage for food). It came to my attention that WHOA! Three students weren't logging into Blackboard enough nor were they contributing to the learning community. BTW, these are GRADUATE stupents so there is no excuse.
My husband walks by when he hears my gleeful exclamation, "This chick didn't post one damn thing during week two! Man, I'm flunking her butt!"
"Why are you so mean?" he has the nerve to say. "Maybe she couldn't get into the class or something came up. You know, they have other responsibilities."
My head almost did a 360 on my neck and I thought I'd start spewing green crap all over the place. Who the heck was this moron, standing across the counter who spoke those wicked words? Clearly it wasn't MY husband or he'd know better.
"Oh, so should I just give Kia a friggin' A because she had other responsibilities...unlike Meri, Maria, Pam, and the other four students who logged in everyday AND posted? I bet they didn't have other responsibilites like family, work, life, right? Kia didn't post one thing for one third of the class and Pam posted TWENTY-TWO times in just one week? Should I forgive Kia and slap that A on her grade report? I bet that would piss off Pam if she found out that all of her hard work earned her the same grade as little Miss No-Show. I'm sure glad YOU aren't teaching these classes. The future leaders of our country would be whiney little babies who take no responsibility for crapola because you want to give everyone who cries to you an A!"
He mumbled something about Xanax and it being 8am as he wandered away. What the hell is wrong with these friggin' people?
My husband walks by when he hears my gleeful exclamation, "This chick didn't post one damn thing during week two! Man, I'm flunking her butt!"
"Why are you so mean?" he has the nerve to say. "Maybe she couldn't get into the class or something came up. You know, they have other responsibilities."
My head almost did a 360 on my neck and I thought I'd start spewing green crap all over the place. Who the heck was this moron, standing across the counter who spoke those wicked words? Clearly it wasn't MY husband or he'd know better.
"Oh, so should I just give Kia a friggin' A because she had other responsibilities...unlike Meri, Maria, Pam, and the other four students who logged in everyday AND posted? I bet they didn't have other responsibilites like family, work, life, right? Kia didn't post one thing for one third of the class and Pam posted TWENTY-TWO times in just one week? Should I forgive Kia and slap that A on her grade report? I bet that would piss off Pam if she found out that all of her hard work earned her the same grade as little Miss No-Show. I'm sure glad YOU aren't teaching these classes. The future leaders of our country would be whiney little babies who take no responsibility for crapola because you want to give everyone who cries to you an A!"
He mumbled something about Xanax and it being 8am as he wandered away. What the hell is wrong with these friggin' people?
Friday, January 20, 2006
01/20: Unfriggin' Believable
So this student flips out under the pressure of a three-week online winter course and emails me this nasty email signing it "So what do think about THAT, teach?" I forward it to my chair who replies, "Wow, what an asshole." I forward it to the dean of the business school who forwards it to an associate dean who forwards it to the dean of student services who replies, "We're so sorry you had such an unpleasant experience."
WHAT???
How about writing up this piece of shit stupent? How about putting him in violation of the school's code of conduct? What the f....? Unpleasant experience my ass. The kid was a friggin' wanker and the school apologizes to me? You've got to be kidding me...
WHAT???
How about writing up this piece of shit stupent? How about putting him in violation of the school's code of conduct? What the f....? Unpleasant experience my ass. The kid was a friggin' wanker and the school apologizes to me? You've got to be kidding me...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
01/19: New Semester, New Stupents
That's right, STUPENTS as in STUPID STUDENTS. Look, this blog isn't going to just focus on stupid students but the new semester is about to start and, as much as I love teaching, I hate my students. Sure, it might just be a handful but those handful of stupid students really piss me off. Ahhhh, that feels so good to actually say it (yes, anonymously but hey, I still have to work!).
I'm currently dealing with a grade grievance from an idiot who took my class last summer. That's right, over EIGHT MONTHS AGO. It was a six week course and she blew off her assignments for one week (basically the equivalent of blowing off 2.5 weeks of a regular semester course), didn't do all of her assigments, handed most of them in late which completely disregards my NO LATE ASSIGNMENT policy, and submitted shitty work to begin with. She should have failed and as a favor, I gave her a C-. She has basically been harrassing me and the entire school for eight months.
Now, why does this happen? Because other instructors are cowards and idiots. They tell these piece of crap students that they are A students. This retard actually told someone that she was an A student. In the meantime, she wouldn't know the proper placement of a comment or how to string two thoughts together in an organized fashion if her life depended on it. In addition, she is lazy and doesn't do her work, forget do it well.
Last semester, I had this little Einstein-wannabe who thought he could pull a James Dean charm routine on mee. I called him on it and told him that he wasn't giving me his best work. So, the little "You're hot" comments weren't earning him brownie points to bypass the crappy work he was submitting. The kid blinked twice and actually told me that no other instructor had ever confronted him before about the fact that he was skating by on mediocre because it surpassed the other students "above average". Tough bananas, kid. You want to give me B work just because your B work is someone else's A work then you will get that damn B.
And that crap about "I'm confused." Yeh, I'm confused to as to HOW YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE, your friggin' moron.
"I was confused by your instructions!"
Oh, my, I'm terribly sorry that my instructions to answer question 1 and 2 on page 4 were confusing to you. Dry those tears with this tissue and let me wipe your bottom while I'm at it.
"I was confused about what you wanted!"
Oh dear me, and I thought I was so clear when I said to use the marketing paper outline on page 154-155 as your guide to creating a 5 page marketing plan. Since you were so confused and it was due today and this is the first time you told me you were confused, why don't I give you a 12 week extension? Would that help? Forget the fact that you'll hand it in three months after I've forgotten about this class and the assignment...please don't concern yourself with the extra work involved with chasing down department chairs and advisors so that I can submit your new grade months after the course has ended. No no...please, it's just fine by me...even though the college pays me the equivalent of $20/hr.
Oh yes, I'm fired up and ready for these Spring Stupents. Bring it on...
I'm currently dealing with a grade grievance from an idiot who took my class last summer. That's right, over EIGHT MONTHS AGO. It was a six week course and she blew off her assignments for one week (basically the equivalent of blowing off 2.5 weeks of a regular semester course), didn't do all of her assigments, handed most of them in late which completely disregards my NO LATE ASSIGNMENT policy, and submitted shitty work to begin with. She should have failed and as a favor, I gave her a C-. She has basically been harrassing me and the entire school for eight months.
Now, why does this happen? Because other instructors are cowards and idiots. They tell these piece of crap students that they are A students. This retard actually told someone that she was an A student. In the meantime, she wouldn't know the proper placement of a comment or how to string two thoughts together in an organized fashion if her life depended on it. In addition, she is lazy and doesn't do her work, forget do it well.
Last semester, I had this little Einstein-wannabe who thought he could pull a James Dean charm routine on mee. I called him on it and told him that he wasn't giving me his best work. So, the little "You're hot" comments weren't earning him brownie points to bypass the crappy work he was submitting. The kid blinked twice and actually told me that no other instructor had ever confronted him before about the fact that he was skating by on mediocre because it surpassed the other students "above average". Tough bananas, kid. You want to give me B work just because your B work is someone else's A work then you will get that damn B.
And that crap about "I'm confused." Yeh, I'm confused to as to HOW YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE, your friggin' moron.
"I was confused by your instructions!"
Oh, my, I'm terribly sorry that my instructions to answer question 1 and 2 on page 4 were confusing to you. Dry those tears with this tissue and let me wipe your bottom while I'm at it.
"I was confused about what you wanted!"
Oh dear me, and I thought I was so clear when I said to use the marketing paper outline on page 154-155 as your guide to creating a 5 page marketing plan. Since you were so confused and it was due today and this is the first time you told me you were confused, why don't I give you a 12 week extension? Would that help? Forget the fact that you'll hand it in three months after I've forgotten about this class and the assignment...please don't concern yourself with the extra work involved with chasing down department chairs and advisors so that I can submit your new grade months after the course has ended. No no...please, it's just fine by me...even though the college pays me the equivalent of $20/hr.
Oh yes, I'm fired up and ready for these Spring Stupents. Bring it on...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
01/18: Dear Idiot Student...
Dear Idiot Student,
I understand that you are a student in my upcoming Spring 2006 course on Cannibalism in Higher Education. Prior to beginning the semester, let's set some ground rules.
At the end of the semester, when you receive your grade in the mail, you are going to be surprised that there will not be an A next to this course. You see, I'm tired of giving out As to students who don't earn them. I'm tired of having idiot students who think that they can blow off classes, instant message during their class, and submit papers with cover pages handwritten in yellow highlighter and riddled with spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. So I'm boycotting As this semester. In fact, I might boycott Bs as well.
For the past seven years, I've heard every excuse in the book. "I was confused!" and "I didn't know..." are the two that top the list. If you are that stupid that you don't know how to follow my syllabus or what day one is when the class week starts on Sunday and ends on Saturday, you probably shouldn't be in college. Chances are that you graduated from high school because those teachers were sick of your stupid antics and are just moving the problem right on up the food chain.
It's interesting because no matter how much time I try to create an interesting course...one that means something and isn't just read the book/answer the questions, you will complain. So, I've joined the dark side and have decided that, since you are going to complain anyway, I might as well make my life easy and go back to the boring lecture with midterm and final exams. See how you like that brainless crap vs. the cool projects of simulated real-world marketing plans or product line development projects. Doesn't matter, though, does it? We both know that you'll bitch and moan about that, too.
What you students don't understand is that instructors talk and, after the first few years of thinking that WE are the idiots, we become aware that our students play psychological warfare with us. I will no longer take responsibility for your ignorance or laziness in meeting deadlines. That's YOUR problem and YOUR fault. I will not longer tolerate being called by my first name instead of Professor. We aren't buddies and will never be pals.
When you get your B (or C), feel free to go through the school's grade grievance process. You'll find that wasting my time, the department chair's time, the dean's time, and the academic review board's time is something we are all used to since everyone who receives an A- or below tends to fight the system and file petitions for that A. Hey, and while you are at it, why not include the college president on the email! S/He always likes to be bothered by idiot retards like you with your senseless grievances because you were too lazy or dumb to work hard during the semester or complaints of mass confusion after you received a grade that you don't like. That's always one way to make yourself look better, trust me. Oh, and try that little trick at work sometime and see how quickly you get passed over for that promotion.
I actually had an idea that we should just forget about classes and papers and over-expensive textbooks and exams. Instead, all professors' should just dish out that A. For adult students, their employer will be extremely amazed at the number of geniuses they have hired. For those 18 year olds, your parents will be shocked to find that all of those years of partying in high school paid off since you are now consistently on that dean's list...not just once but every semester. After all, they always knew there was a budding Einstein lurking beneath that hung-over couch potato that they were amazed came from their loins!
Of course, there are colleges that allow you to do this: get an A in exchange for a check. They are called diploma mills and you can find hundreds of them listed on any search engine. My suggestion to bypass the academics and just issue the grade didn't go to far when I mentioned it to the college so, you are stuck in class with me for the next 15 weeks. Sorry.
Signed, Your Loving Professor
I understand that you are a student in my upcoming Spring 2006 course on Cannibalism in Higher Education. Prior to beginning the semester, let's set some ground rules.
At the end of the semester, when you receive your grade in the mail, you are going to be surprised that there will not be an A next to this course. You see, I'm tired of giving out As to students who don't earn them. I'm tired of having idiot students who think that they can blow off classes, instant message during their class, and submit papers with cover pages handwritten in yellow highlighter and riddled with spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. So I'm boycotting As this semester. In fact, I might boycott Bs as well.
For the past seven years, I've heard every excuse in the book. "I was confused!" and "I didn't know..." are the two that top the list. If you are that stupid that you don't know how to follow my syllabus or what day one is when the class week starts on Sunday and ends on Saturday, you probably shouldn't be in college. Chances are that you graduated from high school because those teachers were sick of your stupid antics and are just moving the problem right on up the food chain.
It's interesting because no matter how much time I try to create an interesting course...one that means something and isn't just read the book/answer the questions, you will complain. So, I've joined the dark side and have decided that, since you are going to complain anyway, I might as well make my life easy and go back to the boring lecture with midterm and final exams. See how you like that brainless crap vs. the cool projects of simulated real-world marketing plans or product line development projects. Doesn't matter, though, does it? We both know that you'll bitch and moan about that, too.
What you students don't understand is that instructors talk and, after the first few years of thinking that WE are the idiots, we become aware that our students play psychological warfare with us. I will no longer take responsibility for your ignorance or laziness in meeting deadlines. That's YOUR problem and YOUR fault. I will not longer tolerate being called by my first name instead of Professor. We aren't buddies and will never be pals.
When you get your B (or C), feel free to go through the school's grade grievance process. You'll find that wasting my time, the department chair's time, the dean's time, and the academic review board's time is something we are all used to since everyone who receives an A- or below tends to fight the system and file petitions for that A. Hey, and while you are at it, why not include the college president on the email! S/He always likes to be bothered by idiot retards like you with your senseless grievances because you were too lazy or dumb to work hard during the semester or complaints of mass confusion after you received a grade that you don't like. That's always one way to make yourself look better, trust me. Oh, and try that little trick at work sometime and see how quickly you get passed over for that promotion.
I actually had an idea that we should just forget about classes and papers and over-expensive textbooks and exams. Instead, all professors' should just dish out that A. For adult students, their employer will be extremely amazed at the number of geniuses they have hired. For those 18 year olds, your parents will be shocked to find that all of those years of partying in high school paid off since you are now consistently on that dean's list...not just once but every semester. After all, they always knew there was a budding Einstein lurking beneath that hung-over couch potato that they were amazed came from their loins!
Of course, there are colleges that allow you to do this: get an A in exchange for a check. They are called diploma mills and you can find hundreds of them listed on any search engine. My suggestion to bypass the academics and just issue the grade didn't go to far when I mentioned it to the college so, you are stuck in class with me for the next 15 weeks. Sorry.
Signed, Your Loving Professor
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