01/23: When To Cave...

When do you cave into a student? This is a question that I debate with one of my colleagues on a regular basis. I've read other comments about caving in on other blogs. OK, I'll admit that there are times to cave in and I've done it. I loved Kait's comment "He cried, I caved, I don't want to talk about it." I laughed my tooshie off when I read that because I've been there. We do it and, afterwards, we don't want to talk about it. Why?

Well, for starters, we know that these students work hard and have other responsibilities. I had one student last semester who was one of the best undergrads that I ever had. This chick was dynamite! Her writing was professional and polished. If I asked for a two page summary, she gave me six! And it was good stuff.

Toward the end of the semester, she had two car accidents within two weeks and never handed in her final assignment. I couldn't fail her, even though I have a "No Late Assignment" policy. So, I gave her the world-famous Incomplete--which is a pain because I have to track down a gazillion signatures from people working in different buildings (and always on the highest floor with no elevator). But she was worth it.

I had another student who missed a ton of classes, didn't hand in some work, and the work she did hand in was mediocre. She actually was from a different school and just taking the class to make up credits. I talked to her about the Incomplete because I didn't want to fail her. However, when it came time to submit grades...I caved and gave her the C. I knew she had a bad semester (someone died) and she did hand in some of the extra work that I requested. The point is...she tried and she talked to me as it was happening.

OK, so I cave in sometimes, too.

But there are situations where I don't cave. I had this student who showed up at the end of the semester and I actually looked at her and said, "Who are you?" This chick hadn't attended class in well over 6 weeks (maybe longer), had been thrown out of her learning team, and was crying about her grandfather dying as the excuse. Look, I was close to my grandmother (I mean CLOSE...I drove 3 hours every week to sit with her until the day before she died!) and I only took off three days to mourn.

Now, I'm not saying this student should get over it but to blame a six week absence on it? I could understand a sibling or a parent but granddad? Well, even so...let's say that this student was really, really close with PopPop...that doesn't mean she should automatically pass the class. It does her no favors to cave in...she didn't learn the material. Sometimes you have to separate their life from their studies. Not to mention, I didn't hear about PopPop's death until AFTER she was going to fail (which she did). That's what drives me crazy. Tell me before, work with me in advance. But to suddenly tell me what happened afterward? I bet she wouldn't have said anything if I had given her a B...it was only after she knew she was going to fail.

I don't cave when the student didn't follow my instructions or when the student tries to thwart taking responsibility for their inaction. Work with me, I work with you. Try to pawn it off on me, forget it--that doesn't work in my book. Teaching is more than just the academics. It's about preparing these students for their post-collegiate life. Responsibility is a very important piece of that. When a student is responsible, I'll go to the moon for them. When a student refuses responsibilty, well...I'll fight that grade grievance until the end of the universe.